INTERVIEW WITH DEBBY RYAN ON THE MARY KAY DON’T LOOK AWAY CAMPAIGN
Nikki Fowler, (@NikkiFowler28) our Glitter Magazine Founder & Editor-in-Chief, sat down with Debby Ryan to talk about her partnership with the Mary Kay Don’t Look Away program, what signs people can look for, how many people experience dating abuse, how to get help, what she would do if she wasn’t acting, and what music we can see from her next. Remember if you need help or need someone to talk to all you have to do is text LOVEIS to 2252 and someone will be there to help you. There is light at the end of the tunnel!
GLITTER: Hi Debby, its Nikki Fowler with Glitter Magazine, How are you? Thanks for making time for us today! We have a few questions for you. Starting off with a reader question, @BYESYMPHONY from twitter wants to know, why have you partnered with Mary Kay for the Don’t Look Away program?
DEBBY: Thanks for having me. For me, I know how low you can feel and you feel emotionally manipulated and you feel like your power has been taken from you and all you can do is defend it or stand up for yourself. It’s so real. It starts with friendship or romance. You go through the honeymoon phase. Relationships start with romance things start to not add up and you feel let down. Before I knew it I was being dragged into rooms and thrown in a room and doors locked behind me and you have that kind of experience and phones being thrown at you and shattering. Walls being punched and screaming and cussing out and the next thing you know they are apologizing saying “I love you. I’m sorry. I will never do anything like that again. You’re my best friend.” After you experience you realize that this relationship is supposed to make you feel safe, it’s supposed to be healthy and it’s supposed to make you stronger. It’s supposed to make you feel beautiful and loved and strong. When you’re in a situation that is the opposite of that, it’s not only destructive to you, but you end up isolated from all the people that could help you and who fought for you in the beginning. So after a situation like that, I realized that everyone deserves a healthy relationship and one that makes them the best version of themselves and shines the light that they can and I want everyone to know what the warning signs and where to turn when things aren’t right.
GLITTER: How many young people experience dating abuse?
DEBBY: It’s insane. One in three experience dating violence and so much of it goes unmentioned. It’s heartbreaking, discouraging, and it’s also a sign to me that it’s become normalized. Mary Kay and I want to unnormalize it. We want to educate everyone. I partnered with Mary Kay who can help spread the message about dating violence and also, this is the most important part, how to get help, where to get help and that there are people ready to fight for you.
GLITTER: How can people get help if they have questions about their relationship?
DEBBY: Absolutely. I don’t really feel valued or I feel controlled or I feel afraid of how they will react, or you dread hanging out with them. You’re emotionally exhausted. If any of these things are not adding up, you can text LOVEIS to 2252 and you’ll be connected with a peer advocate who can help. A Mary Kay representative will ask questions like, “Are you safe to talk right now? So what’s going on? What’s up?” I told them about his erratic behavior. I remember for me when I was in this situation. They can be a friend for you as well. I had my friend, mom and brother asking me, “Is this normal? Are you ok?” You hide so much of it, and sometimes are in denial yourself. Whether you are you want to learn about how to get out or what the signs would be including digital abuse. Digital abuse is so real in our generation. Demanding social media passwords or looking at your phone, wanting to look at your social media where you’re not there. This is all of this is to control you. That is definitely a sign of abuse or control. Any questions all you need to do is text your questions to “LOVEIS 2252” and someone will reply to you with someone anonymous and someone that is our age, and someone who isn’t condescending. They get it and they can link you to pages where you can learn more. You can also go to MaryKay.com/dontlookaway to find out information on what is an unhealthy relationship and what the signs are or even if you just want to learn more like “What is love? What is healthy love? What does love look like when it’s good for you? What does love look like when it’s not good for you? What does healthy love look like? Everyone should know what healthy love looks like and whether you have an amazing example in your parents or friend, there’s always a way to learn more. What does healthy love look like for me, what do I do in a situation that is doing the opposite.
GLITTER: So the Mary Kay site will offer different resources in addition to the phone or text? Are there any hashtags that you’re using?
DEBBY: Yes. Hashtag #dontlookaway. I love that because it’s very real. I think if we look hard enough we can see it. Even if we look, we can see it. It’s almost easier to turn a blind eye to ourselves. People say, “Nothing’s going on. I’m fine.” I think that if everyone says, “we’re not going to look away any more.” Every person who hears about this won’t look away anymore. We are going to fight for our sisters. We want to treat and build up these woman and unnormalize this in our society.
GLITTER: There is a stigma and shame with it so I really applaud you for doing this. Could you tell us about what is the Mary Kay Global Day of Beauty and what that’s about?
DEBBY: I’m so excited about this. Women will be at events in Miami, DC, NYC, and LA. I’ll be at the LA one and Mary Kay helps survivors of abuse feel more beautiful inside and out. It’s about both inner beauty and outer beauty. It’s about strength. It’s about rebuilding. We are going to take a little bit off your hands. We are going to pamper you and we give you all sorts of treatments to make you feel beautiful and loved. This is just a small step and fresh start. These woman are my heroes. They’ve gotten themselves and their families out of this cycle of abuse. To break the cycle is the greatest thing a woman can do. I’m so happy to work with Mary Kay and applaud these women and pamper these women for doing that.
GLITTER: Every song off of your EP has a different tone and style. Each one has its own meaning. Which song is your favorite so far and do you have more EPs or albums in the works?
DEBBY: We have more in the works. We are writing each week and you will hear new music from us. There’s a quote cannot extinguish the light of a single candle. That’s what I think of when I think of these women. It’s going to cut through. Right around the time I was in a situation like this, I wrote a song about being in that same type of situation and basically I can’t hide the light. It’s going to be OK. I wrote a song called “When the Dark Falls.” It’s going to be okay and right around that time I had met Rowan Blanchard and she plays the girl on Girl Meets World and I saw her and spoke with her and I saw so much of myself in her and I wrote down what I wished that someone had told me. It would all make sense someday. It’s going to be hard and she doesn’t know what she’s going to go through. It’s such a whirlwind, but it’ll all make sense someday so I wrote that and I kinda wrote that for her. It ended up being me writing it to myself writing it through her. Whenever something happens I still say it’ll all make sense someday. It takes me back to the moment where I was hanging onto a final thread of hope that I had. Our new songs are a celebration and about overcoming that and pushing through that to find the light and the love and there’s so much love and joy in that fact. Glowing and changing and getting out of college and our new songs have more fun and cheekiness to them and they will appeal to something that I call the fall. It’s going to be dark and it’s going to be beautiful and it’s going to hurt. I’d rather feel everything than nothing.
GLITTER: @MILEYBRIDGITFANS from Instagram wants to know, “if you could write a new fiction book, what would it be about?”
DEBBY: It would be about living on a different planet or very Kerouac-y. When you’re in your teens and twenties there’s a feel of freedom in driving to Malibu and feeling everything and finding your strength and falling in love really for the first time and realizing that you didn’t know what you were talking about before. All of those things are things I’d try to tap into one book. It would probably be five people living in a house, kind of like my life now. Celebrate and cry with each other and celebrating our own things and I’m inspired by our youth.
GLITTER: @LAGOONBLUE55 on Instagram asked, “If you weren’t an actress, what would you be doing instead?”
DEBBY: I was pre, pre-med, though I don’t know if I would’ve done that route knowing everything that I know now. But I love directing. It’s intense, mentally exhausting and the best process in the world and it feels like everything in my life is meant for that. If I wasn’t acting, I’d be directing. But I also want do something where I’m touching people’s hearts. I want to do something where I’m not only creating amazing art, but you’re just heart to heart with the other person. That’s why I love writing, directing, helping other people out of situations, and it’s also why I love acting. I think it’ll all make sense someday.
Thank you so much for such an amazing interview to some questions on a heavy issue. I wish you all the luck with everything and we will talk to you soon!
CLICK THE LOGO BELOW TO GET INSTANTLY
ON NOOK OR SUBSCRIBE OR BUY A SINGLE COPY
Or find your national STATE NEWSSTAND!
Editorial Director | Writer | Tweet me @heatherriccio
